Firstly I want to say that, although I have been doing a post (nearly) every day on self-love I really push back against the idea that 'until we love ourselves we can't be loved'.
Like, how do we measure when we love ourselves enough? Does some light turn green? (or pink) What's the line we cross to go from unlovable to worthy of love?
I understand how important self-love is, but I also know that our sad/happy/broken/weary selves are loveable right now, and can heal and grow when loved by another. So psshhh to that!
So, It's only day 14 of my 28 days of self-love but here are some things that I've learned already.
Having to think of a way to show yourself some love/care/kindness every day is fucking great! Why didn't I start this sooner? It's such a small thing but it's really changed my day.
There are SO many ways to love yourself up a little, without even having to get too creative.
Here's some I've done in the last 2 weeks.
- Writing every day, even a few words.
-Buying new cream for my body and playing a song I love while I cream myself after the shower.
- Sitting still and taking 10 deep breaths.
- Keeping my promises to myself.
- Sitting in the sun in my undies.
- Wearing something really colorful.
- Buying myself flowers!
- Re-potting some sad plants while listening to a podcast.
- Jumping into the sea.
- Moving my body.
- Taking a long shower (waaah.. when will I ever have a bath again)?!?
In an age where everything is about productivity, doing something nice for yourself, is such a powerful antidote to that.
You can find ways to be a little loving to yourself even on the days when you don't feel that crazy about yourself.
I don't know a lot about love, but I do know I am lucky to have all kinds of love in my life. And I truly believe it's everywhere in all different concentrations. From those little zings of connection you have with a stranger - a little dusting of love that only lasts a spark of a second, to sitting in the drizzle watching your kid play some game you don't care about, to wanting to squeeze your friend sooo tight and suck up her sadness when she cries.
Love to me is seeing beauty in people on the days they feel at their worst, it's the feeling when my teenage kid holds my hand even just for a second, it's the freedom I feel when I am in a group of women I care about and admire, it's the days I wake and hold my own hand and whisper kind words to myself, it's being told you look great by a stranger on the metro, it's someone keeping you company when they know you feel lonely, it's the space to say "i am lonely" without shame, its softness and kindness and sadness all rolled into one. It's silence and laughter and tears. It's choosing yourself over and over again.
Like everyone, I have a thousand complex stories of love, especially romantically and within my family. But regardless of those, in my relentless optimism, I still believe deeply in the power of love.
So I shall continue my self-love daily and keep saying good morning to people in the street and complimenting strangers on the metro and trust that even the smallest sprinklings of love make the world a better place!