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I have never walked slowly
I’ve never walked slowly because I've been running. Running for as long as I can remember. And the pace has been getting faster and faster year after year. But as the speed increased I got better and better at creating...
F**k the risotto
Hi loves, It’s the 30th of April, the last year of my thirties, I am tired and hungry and horny and a bit lonely, and everything I have taught myself to cope and survive is crumbling around me despite me...
A bit of fear and a lot of excitement
As you may have seen, I’ve been dropping lots of hints, but shying away from making anything official. As a bad future planner (most of my plans are either right this minute or never) and also through fear, I have...
I stopped feeling for a while
    I stopped feeling for a while. I worked really hard at it. I preempted what might happen when we finally had our home. Something I have dreamt of since leaving home at 16 and longed for for my...
Swinging tits, holy skies and starting again...
  Good morning loves,I have been talking to a lot of people this week, and it feels like absolutely every single person is so worn out So muddled and sticky and icky, desperately trying to schedule in moments of rest...
Clear waters, shame and shit ribbons
Good morning loves,   A bit like when I used to sew a lot, I don’t have any idea what I will write or what the final piece will be/look like, but I feel like I need to get some...
Not Today Satan
  It's been a strange summer. So much has happened, so much is changing and I think I've been subconsciously tapping out of it through.. fear. In the lead up to going back to Bali to face some old demons...
Remembering why I started this
After an incredible start to my trip there is a lot bubbling to the surface right now, which is expected but not thaaat welcome! Just a heads up, this ones a little heavy with mention of disordered eating (but a...
Lostness and lemon trees
I feel I write the same email over and over in slightly different ways but it’s been a while so here’s my unrequested soup of thoughts in email form. On Tuesday I came back to myself, which coincided with the...
Motherhood
  It’s mothers day (which I only remembered this  morning)  and despite that this weekend I have been thinking more than usual about Motherhood, (which I am going to write with a capital M from now on because I think...
Some thoughts on love....
Firstly I want to say that, although I have been doing a post (nearly) every day on self-love I really push back against the idea that 'until we love ourselves we can't be loved'.   Like, how do we measure when we...
Lonely, but not alone.
  Today I woke feeling so alone. I cried as I made myself my morning coffee and as I write this I feel so full of loneliness.I want to name  it, to blame  it on single parenthood, or on my...
Sitting with lostness, finding peace.
I've been feeling lost. A little stuck and a lot unmotivated. I've been trying to just sit with it.   As someone who has spent every moment of their life 'doing' I'm trying to work out what this feeling is...
Motherland- What I've learned about parenthood, race and identity
Since moving to Barcelona (nearly a whole year ago)! I have been so lucky that a few amazing women reached out to me, sometimes social media is a truly magical thing. One of whom was Priya Joi. Since I met...
Bitter sweetness
This week feels big. Big big!  This week my son goes back to school (another new school, but that's a whole other story) I have done maybe 11 solo parent summer holidays in my son's lifetime. Spread over 3 countries and...
On finding awe in the small things
It's been a big summer. A different summer.   I had a month of childlessness which is a first, and my favourite moments by far were the small ones. The insignificant moments of quiet and nature and connection. The hours...
Mothering and summering and swearing.
Do I love being a Mother? Yes! Do I hate being a mother? Yes! Do I wear motherhood as a badge of honour, fuck yes. Are all the women in me tired? YESSS!! It's the summer holidays, (which in Spain...
On crying and timing and finding your way home again
  Today I cried. It rose up and poured out so hard and fast and it felt so good.  Today for the first time in 12 ish years I dusted off my sewing machines and I sewed and I sang...
Losing my way Pt.324678 and a poem on joy x
Hiiiii, It's been a while, cos I've been way too busy losing my way, again!  I feel like I only write about this one thing. Maybe I do, maybe I will until I find my way past it. Or maybe life...
Meh to Mothers day
Trigger warning (I know for so many people Mothers day is a massive trigger) So if it is for you, I see you and I send you love x I hate Mothers day. I feel it looming in already, and...
A little ditty on bleeding
I have the worst period pains I've had in years so imma keep my bit brief and take you to the good stuff after a few words.