After my brutal birthday break up I've been thinking a lot about 'love' and how much time I wasted looking for a certain kind of love when I could have been basking in the delicious gentle platonic love of friendship instead. Of course both are valid but in my old search for one I didnt appreciate the other as much as I do now after a good chunk of time by my sweet self. (no dating, no mating, no swiping, no sexting).
The last 18 months I really embraced platonic love. I have made more friends than I have ever done in any other chapter of my life and feel such deep love and joy from them. I went on a lunch date with someone I met through a program called Getting Free in the beginning of last year, it was wonderful and she has become a super close friend. After our first 'date' she messaged and said she can't believe she wasted so much time on dating app dates when she could have been on friendship dates instead, and that totally stayed with me.
In the last year I have sent strangers gifts of clothes because it felt like the right thing to do. I have gained 2 penpals in the states that I write real actual letters to (and send Jaffa cakes to one cos they're her faves) I have exchanged numbers with strangers in the park and invited them for dog walks and I have really leant in to the beauty of connection, newness and openness. And it's all flowed back ten fold (like it do).
Basically all that to say, maybe we fall in love way more than we realise? Maybe that moment in the park where you have that spark like connection with a stranger is a momentary love story. Fuck knows, all I know is I have never felt as nourished and loved and seen and full as I do right now single. So, reach out, invite them for a stroll, tell someone you think they're great, say I love you if it feels good, bask in that sweet platonic love!
I love you.
Brag it, shout it, share it, own it.
Who the f*ck are you? Tell us with your whole chest
“Who the fuck am I?” Good question! Who am I? Ya know, to be perfectly honest there is still a big part of myself trying to figure that space out. There’s a lot to who I am. I think I’ve been a few different versions of myself to date but I’m finding light in the space of properly learning about the depths of my personality, my core, what really matters, what makes me tick and what brings me peace. I can’t be the only one, right?
I guess we should just start off with the basics.
So “Hey”!! I’m Lauren. I’m a proud female, domestic violence survivor, feminist, music lover, creative. A bit broken but working on fixing what can be fixed and learning to love the bits that can’t or simply don’t need fixing.
Until recently, I’ve spent the last 7+ years living in London having the time of my life (to a degree). When the pandemic hit and left both myself and my fiancé out of work, we packed up and headed out of the Big Smoke. COVID has been tough on everyone and it certainly brought many challenges in my own life but honestly, it has in some ways been a true blessing (hear me out!). Forced to slow down and just stop for a moment, really stop, think, regress, it really helped me find a new perspective. I’m now learning more clearly than ever before what works for me and what doesn’t, what is important and what isn’t, what I truly care about and what I don’t. For the first time in my life I am paying attention to and learning to love me. Many people told me my 30s would be an oddly uplifting experience, I think I can see what they meant.
London was in so many ways a really wonderful life. It afforded me some super cool opportunities, I met some of the best friends I could have ever been blessed with and strengthened my bond with the female energy surrounding me (I’m lucky to have a wealth of positive female energy in my life, they know who they are!). London also brought me to breaking point more than once. At times, crippling anxiety that on some days left me in an emotional battle with my own front door, just trying to take on the outside world. I didn’t even realise how much my mental health was in need of a break until I just...stopped.
So then I welcomed AESUCA
What are you shouting about?
AESUCA! Born from my hobby and love of being creative, I learned the ancient craft of Macrame in 2017. A way to still my busy mind and find something for my hands to do, I was hooked right from the first knot!
Despite my bloke repeatedly telling me I should do more with it, I settled on it just being a personal hobby, an escapism if you like. Truthfully, I told myself I was never good enough to do anything with it, it would never be a ‘thing’.
Until now that is!
So, here I am with my new and very small little business. It may be small, but for me it is mighty - it’s mine! All mine! And it brings me so much joy! I have so many ideas and plans for this little venture, so if you fancy learning a new craft or just want to support another female trying to get out there for herself, come along for the ride! You can find a range of plant hangers, wall hangings, coasters, accessories and custom pieces - all made with 100% cotton and almost exclusively using recycled cord.
I’m trying to get more comfortable with showing more of myself and showing up more authentically on my page, so if you come along you can expect to see not just my new projects, but more of me and my journey, speaking out for what matters to me and learning how best to use my voice where it matters most. My efforts are far from perfect but I am here, I am growing, eager to learn, willing to fuck up and then get back up and do my best.
I’d love you to join me and to learn about you too!
What do you to want to teach us, tell us, sell us
I’m not here to teach you anything really. Someone who is far from figuring it out herself would be pretty bold trying to teach you all something about life!
Unless we’re talking macrame… then I might be able to help ;) You can buy rope/cords from me, my messages are always open to people wanting to know/learn more and tutorials, more products and info will be following on AESUCA soon. I’d be so hugely grateful for any single one of you to come along on my little journey. So if you want to be a part of my world, you can find me here:
My parting line: it might be cheesy as hell but fuck it!
Keep dreaming big because you know what, it could just well bloody happen for you.
P.S. I just want to thank the utterly wonderful Sally and Leeanne for taking me on at MANNERS and trusting me with all of you beautiful customers. These last few months have really been a joy thanks to Sally’s incredible customers and the pure fact that Sally is an amazing human being who attracts and brings on board other amazing human beings like Leeanne! So thank you ladies, know that you are really, really wonderful and appreciated by many.
Your social links and where to find you
Insta/Facebook: @aesucadesigns Etsy: aesuca.etsy.com